Deadpool saves Wolverine! (And does not even get named in the credits)

Soooooooo....

The Author gave me the mission to stop the biggest injustice that was done to Wolverine in the history of his existence in Marvel fiction.

Yes. You've guessed it- I was going to stop the Adamantium from getting sucked out of his body by the Silver Samurai and save his precious blade claws.

Ummm... Is that a spoiler? I'm not sure, because I have not yet told you whether the mission was a success or not...

Anyway- I got inserted at a point in the story where Logan was still sightseeing in Japan with a Yukio that is not canon in either the X-men Apocalypse movie or that cinematic masterpiece of a sequel to my movie...

Anyway- I dropped out from the portal some distance away from that Japanese castle in the mountains that was full of Ninjas. I knew that getting in was not going to be easy, so I decided to enter unseen by scaling the back wall with a grappling hook and rope.

Standing on the castle wall I could see the Ninja bodyguards patrolling the area. I needed to draw them away from the front door of the building where I reckoned Yukio's crazy war vet granddad was going to be so- I tossed a couple of grenades over to the other side of the yard and jumped off when I saw that all the guards have run to investigate the explosions.

So- not knowing what was waiting for me behind the closed door- I took out my trusty handguns and fired some precautionary shots as I kicked the door open. Wouldn't you know it?! There were actually some people who did not run out to go and check out my distraction!

Well... good thing I fired shots.

I tossed a couple of bear traps over my back to catch those who might want to catch me unawares...

And... searching the building... I decorated the passages and empty rooms with a mixture of bear traps and proximity mines.

I eventually found this room that looked like one of the Stealth Missions in the Batman games.

The old guy was already in full cyborg gear, sitting on a Robocop- chair, probably charging or something.

He looked really bullet-proof to me, so I didn't feel like messing around with the pea shooters.
So- saying "IDKFA" out loud I got myself the BFG and let rip with a huge green plasma ball that shorted out all the electronics in the room and blew a huge hole in the wall.

That motherfucker's armor actually took that blast without a scratch! I mean, come on! Is it really necessary to make this guy over-powered for the sake of having a good story?!




So- I hear all these screams in the distance... and some explosions... and I knew that the guards were rushing towards the room while Shredder was getting ready to cut me up like sushi.

Judging by how many of the bear traps I heard going off and how many mines exploded I knew that I was not going to be alone with Shredder for much longer...

So- I cycled through my weapons inventory until I got the chain gun and ran for the door with the cyborg samurai at my heels. These bathrobe wearing security guards did not expect to see me and were Swiss cheese before they could even aim a gun at me. I was outside and heading for the wall when I heard a robotic scream. I don't know Japanese, but I am sure he said something like "oh shit!".

Turns out- there was one bear trap that had not been stepped on yet and Shred-head was the lucky winner!

This time I decided to see what a weapon from my own video game would do, so I tossed a proximity mine to him. It immediately stuck to his body and- the armor was still intact!

His head got blown off, though...

It seems like nobody was left to chase me. I can only imagine how crappy it looked when Wolverine showed up ready to get de-clawed and just found a bunch of dead bodies and heaps of rubble...




Well... back at the base I had myself a chimichanga and a brewski, watched some Hitomi Tanaka and went to bed.

Who knows where the Author will send me next...?